Jim Belsham

In Their Words

Jim’s Story

I would like to be part of Faces of Pride 2026 – Family Edition for a lifetime of reasons.

I was born in Fort Fraser B.C. in 1943. It was a small town with a few hundred people. I grew up and worked on a small farm in a poplar forest. We had a few milk cows, a beef herd, pigs, chickens and a team of work horses. We grew and stored most of our food. We heated and cooked with wood. There was no electricity, running water, or phones until the late 50s and early 60s.

I attended a 2 to 3 room school grades 1 to 8. Grade 9 was done by correspondence, grades 10 to 12 by bussing to Vanderhoof 1 hour away. I graduated in 1961 and with a lot of intense determination went to UBC until 1966 graduating with a BSc in Agriculture. By that time I was in debt and married with a new baby daughter.

Being openly gay was illegal until Trudeau senior changed the law in the late 60s. Gay gradually became OK into the 70s and by that time we had added a son to our family. I did not want to be gay, I tried to repress and unsuccessfully to live up to the hypermasculine recipe “Get married, have children and keep your head down”. I had taken the cure and it had not worked!

In 1972 I separated from my young family contributing to more confusion, clinical depression and struggle to function and hold down a job. For three years I attended every kind of counseling and group therapy I could access and afford. I tried anything promising resolution and a happier life. The one thing I knew for sure was to stay geographically and emotionally available to my daughter and son. I very gradually came to full self acceptance, it took many years but gay was finally very much OK!

I was OK, but some of my family of origin and old friends were not ok. I began to find my family of choice, friends who were kind, understanding, accepting, affirming and loving. My marriage and having children with Lynda lasted for 7 years. My first committed gay relationship lasted for 14 years including my children to the end of their teenage years. My current relationship has been ongoing for 30 years and looks like it will probably be till death do us part!

All along the way I have found supportive friends and community. I have continued to grow and expand inclusiveness in my life. My early life was so unhappy and plagued with unresolved depression. I was mentally ill and did not expect or want to live past 50. Now I am going on 83 and my life seems to keep getting better and better. Now I am worried I cannot live long enough!

I feel supported by a large community. The people I would like to include in my family photo are my 2 children, their 3 children, their children’s children, a couple of siblings, a few cousins, in-laws, old friends, new friends, community friends… the list is long, kind of endless and wonderful. (Most of them are too far away to attend, they are here in spirit!) The joy of self acceptance and acceptance by others is rich and intoxicating.

Thanks for the opportunity to share!